Tangent

That was a long tangent.

I am just worried.
I've been worrying too much these days.
Worried to the point where I've been grinding my teeth in my sleep,
and I've actually spent 20 dollars in Target on a night teeth guard.
I am eager.
Impatient.
And irritated.
I want to know of my future now.

Anyhow,
Hope everyone is having a great week!
Life in Augsburg is getting shorter and shorter by day.

Cabbage Wabbage

I may be opening a can of worms this week...

Everything happens for a reason.
Maybe the trick is not to care too much.
Like the Stoics.
Don't let every single line in the sketch distract you from seeing the sketch as a whole.

What do you love?
What is your purpose?
Why do you exist?

Now these are the true questions.

Do you live struggling to achieve temporary successes and victories--that compliment that you long to hear from your parents, that six digits salary, that house, that car, that position, that game, that friend, that girl, that boy, that dress...
Or do you rather struggle and know that you have lived a fulfilling life and have attained eternal happiness in your life after death?
Why spend your energy and invest our emotions on temporary joys.

I've had enough worries.
Worries that I might not succeed in my temporary goals,
that I might fail...
things might not work out...
The truth is,
Nothing that works out on this planet will last.
People that succeeds in this life--
even philosophers and saints..
They have to leave this place someday.
So why,
Why
Why
do we so desperately seek for the kind of happiness that dies in life.

I am found

In my music.
You spoke.
I haven't been this secure about myself since I don't even though(know) when.
You are my security.
This very morning, you have reigned in my music.
I have found a reason to sing.
Joyfully. Worry-less.
May my restless singing come to an end.
For you have called me.
And for once, I've understood.

Cabbage Wabbage

Conflict and Misery

Everyone has the power to control their reactions to misfortunes.
To be able to control your reactions, you must rationalize. In other words, one must take his time to ponder patiently on his troubles. That is difficult. Emotions are somehow able to react faster than the mind. I don't know if this is true for everybody, but it is for me.
The Stoics believe that in order to find the highest kind of happiness, one must reject all kinds of desire. Cut off the desires in your life, and you will be content--living in a state of happiness.
Emotions are the product of desire. How you want to feel and are currently feeling about a situation--passionate, sad, eager, want, frustration, disappointed, used, angry, embarrassed.
If you are able to recognize the kinds of emotions that you feel, you will be able to take control of them...
To me, true happiness is really not a kind of feeling.
It is to be in a state.
Your ability to see pass everything around you--the good and the bad, and still feel a deep and assuring sense of security and satisfaction about your life. The feeling of "I have done my best", "I've reached for the stars", and "I am grateful for my journey" about life.

...mmm...maybe. I will continue to develop my thoughts on this.

Cabbage Wabbage

Abba,

My body and tongue may not remember You.

But my mind cannot cease to praise You.
It wants to praise you.
For it longs for a purpose.

love,
Your child.

Chopin Nocturne in F Minor

Simple.
A taste of bitter sweet.
Something so melancholy and slow.
Yet it cuts you deep.
A burning passion that drives the melody...
Creepin through your skin.
Pain.
Suspension.
Frustration.
A sigh of relief.
Satisfaction.
And dissatisfaction.

I love it. and I am ready to play.

CB

Exciting Events for This Year

My Senior Recital pieces.
My Honors Keystone class.
My Chamber Music piece by Vaughn Williams.
Voice competitions.
My church choir job.
Vespers. (hopefully solos)
Auditions for Grad School. (must discuss more on this later)
Chopin piano pieces.
Concerto/Aria Competition. (hopefully for both piano and voice)
Saint Sans' Ensemble piece.

Cabbage Wabbage