Homesick again...

When it's so dark and rainy out, I think of home.
I smell Malaysia. I smell mom's cooking. I remember the rainy evenings that I spend in front of the school gate waiting for dad to arrive.
Mom and dad refused to let us sit in the school bus. They were very protective. They did not believe that the school bus could take us home safely.
Even though dad was busy as hell, he did all he can--walking out on meetings, going in to his classes late, canceling important events... just so that he can drive and pick us up from school.
I have loving parents. They've done plenty for my sisters and I. Sometimes I forget to appreciate and don't realize how much they've given up for our lives sake.

Anyhow, lately, I cannot help but think that it is time for me to return to Malaysia. It has been 6 years now, and the Malaysian in me is in desperate need for replenishment.
I hardly remember my life as a Malaysian. I wonder how much of me can still be identified as a Malaysian? I wonder if I still deserve to call myself a Malaysian..My curiosity is itching my mind to bits.

The lack of home...
The lack of hills...
The lack of flowers...
monkeys...
coconut trees...
the of land below the wind...
Sabah, negeri di bawah bayu...
how much do I still know you...?
how little?

I've just realized how little I know about Malaysia.
Since young, I've only stayed in my own state.
I haven't had a chance to travel around Malaysia.
My parents could never afford long trips.
Even though we were always traveling,
we hardly had the freedom to do what's fun
and soak in the culture that we have in Malaysia.

When I return, I will make sure to dive right into the core of Malaysian culture.

Of course, I must first be sure to have the means and time to do so.

sigh..
Cabbage Wabbage