Silence
Boredom
Oh God, help me!
My mind is telling me that I'm a loser all over again.
Sitting in my room,
all alone...
trying to study,
but my mind is crowding itself with lonely thoughts.
I miss you.
The sweet moments that we've spent
seem light-years ago.
Sitting in my room,
all alone...
Do you wish to see me too?
I wonder.
Blue bird is not singing today
Such a cold cold day.
My plants
My only friends.
They are turning yellow.
Dying away like you have.
like the cherry blossoms by my window...
Dear one,
Will you ever return to me?
No answer...no whisper...
not even a breeze...
not even a smell...
Will I ever find you?
Have I lost you for good?
Come back to me
Where ever you are, what ever time it is,
Fly back to me
I am eagerly waiting...
Cabbage Wabbage
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Disorganized..MUST DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT
URGO has finally begun! My greatest fear about this research is my incapability in motivating myself. Time management too is a great part of my worry.
So, to avoid myself from being distracted, I am now making a schedule for myself.
I must be motivated!!! YARGHHH!!!
1Pm-2:30pm - Study/ Reading
2:30Pm-4:30Pm- Meeting with Janet
4:30Pm-7:30Pm-Practice
8Pm- Songs/Lieders search
9Pm- Study/ Reading
My Interview:
How long have you been performing/directing/conducting?
How do you view the demands of the operatic music business today?
What sort of skills/attributes/experiences do they look for in opera singers?
Do audiences today respond to the vocal productions or stage appearances?
Are the audiences today most likely going to respond to the a great sound or an appealing staged visual?
Have the current audiences changed in their expectations of a great production in comparison to the audiences in the past?
What do you wish to see or hear most in an opera?
As a singer/director/conductor, what is the most challenging task in creating a successful opera?
To the Singer:
When was the first time you had a break through in your performing?
What types of vocal technique exercises do you do while practicing?
What types of acting exercises do you do while practicing?
Do you find it difficult to be on your vocal technique while acting?
What has helped you the most in being able to be expressive on stage while still singing on your technique?
So, to avoid myself from being distracted, I am now making a schedule for myself.
I must be motivated!!! YARGHHH!!!
1Pm-2:30pm - Study/ Reading
2:30Pm-4:30Pm- Meeting with Janet
4:30Pm-7:30Pm-Practice
8Pm- Songs/Lieders search
9Pm- Study/ Reading
My Interview:
How long have you been performing/directing/conducting?
How do you view the demands of the operatic music business today?
What sort of skills/attributes/experiences do they look for in opera singers?
Do audiences today respond to the vocal productions or stage appearances?
Are the audiences today most likely going to respond to the a great sound or an appealing staged visual?
Have the current audiences changed in their expectations of a great production in comparison to the audiences in the past?
What do you wish to see or hear most in an opera?
As a singer/director/conductor, what is the most challenging task in creating a successful opera?
To the Singer:
When was the first time you had a break through in your performing?
What types of vocal technique exercises do you do while practicing?
What types of acting exercises do you do while practicing?
Do you find it difficult to be on your vocal technique while acting?
What has helped you the most in being able to be expressive on stage while still singing on your technique?
Monday, June 2, 2008
Oh, just some thoughts, you know.
So, I've been doing quite well with my summer reading.
The latest book is called Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge.
The message of the book is this: Your heart matters more than anything else in all creation. The desires you had as a little girl and the longings you still feel as a woman--they are telling you of the life God created you to live..releasing you to live as a fully alive and feminine woman. A woman who is truly Captivating.
I've come to realize how much I've disrespected myself.
Ever since my last break up, I have hardened myself; thinking that the only way that I can be satisfied is by distracting myself with work and perfection. I put in extra work to shine up my shoes, doll myself up, being nice to everyone, get A+'s in my transcript, being a great worker in the coffee shop and the office, and get that full ride scholarship.
But really, I have yet to feel any sort of satisfaction in my ability through my hard work.
I've ensured that everyone that I work with is happy with me.
However the last person that I've tried please so far is myself.
I never appreciate what I have and my abilities. I'm always lacking.
So, I'm gonna learn how to be a little more loving to myself. Give myself pats on the shoulder at times.
Hopefully someday,
I'll understand how much I am loved by my Creator and how beautiful is the life He has given me.
Cabbage Wabbage
The latest book is called Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge.
The message of the book is this: Your heart matters more than anything else in all creation. The desires you had as a little girl and the longings you still feel as a woman--they are telling you of the life God created you to live..releasing you to live as a fully alive and feminine woman. A woman who is truly Captivating.
I've come to realize how much I've disrespected myself.
Ever since my last break up, I have hardened myself; thinking that the only way that I can be satisfied is by distracting myself with work and perfection. I put in extra work to shine up my shoes, doll myself up, being nice to everyone, get A+'s in my transcript, being a great worker in the coffee shop and the office, and get that full ride scholarship.
But really, I have yet to feel any sort of satisfaction in my ability through my hard work.
I've ensured that everyone that I work with is happy with me.
However the last person that I've tried please so far is myself.
I never appreciate what I have and my abilities. I'm always lacking.
So, I'm gonna learn how to be a little more loving to myself. Give myself pats on the shoulder at times.
Hopefully someday,
I'll understand how much I am loved by my Creator and how beautiful is the life He has given me.
Cabbage Wabbage
Monday, May 26, 2008
My Little Shaker
The moment I saw him,
I knew he was different from the other babies that I've seen.
He is wise.
Although he has yet to speak.
He has a strong voice.
He cries till he gets his point across.
My little shaker.
Just a little shake
And his whole world becomes bright again.
He loves the sun,
which is not surprising.
Emeth Sun.
You have opened up my eyes.
Allowing me to understand that
I, Evelyn Tsen am just like the rest.
Cabbage Wabbage
I knew he was different from the other babies that I've seen.
He is wise.
Although he has yet to speak.
He has a strong voice.
He cries till he gets his point across.
My little shaker.
Just a little shake
And his whole world becomes bright again.
He loves the sun,
which is not surprising.
Emeth Sun.
You have opened up my eyes.
Allowing me to understand that
I, Evelyn Tsen am just like the rest.
Cabbage Wabbage
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Is it about me or you?
Will this questioning ever end?
Lately I've been feeling as though everyone has been nothing but fakes.
Truly, there must be more to relationships besides taking advantage of one another.
I have always heard of the nice people that are only nice to earn your favor.
But I did not know these kinda people live so close to me.
Heck, I've been meeting quite a few of them lately.
and they happen to be people that I've once called "friends".
Friends that are only in it for the $$$ or sumthin.
Question: Why are we so desperate to have relationships?
Question: If we are desperate for relationships, how did we become so resistant against broken relationships?
Question, Question, QUESTIONS!!!
Are we having relationships in order to acknowledge and love the people around us? Or are we in relationships to fulfill our own needs?
Oh me, oh my...
Come to think of it, all the relationships that I've had in Malaysia no longer exist. There were no hurt feelings, no fights, no anger...
but there was just no more me in their lives, and no more them in my life.
Cabbage Wabbage
Lately I've been feeling as though everyone has been nothing but fakes.
Truly, there must be more to relationships besides taking advantage of one another.
I have always heard of the nice people that are only nice to earn your favor.
But I did not know these kinda people live so close to me.
Heck, I've been meeting quite a few of them lately.
and they happen to be people that I've once called "friends".
Friends that are only in it for the $$$ or sumthin.
Question: Why are we so desperate to have relationships?
Question: If we are desperate for relationships, how did we become so resistant against broken relationships?
Question, Question, QUESTIONS!!!
Are we having relationships in order to acknowledge and love the people around us? Or are we in relationships to fulfill our own needs?
Oh me, oh my...
Come to think of it, all the relationships that I've had in Malaysia no longer exist. There were no hurt feelings, no fights, no anger...
but there was just no more me in their lives, and no more them in my life.
Cabbage Wabbage
Thursday, May 22, 2008
New post?
Uncertain if I should be entering a new post, but I shall either way.
Summer is finally here, and it has been great.
I only wish it can be warmer.
June 1: I shall begin my research with URGO.
Thesis: Integrating the skills of singing, acting and movement on the operatic stage
What a big topic. I really hope I won't get lost in the midst of the research.
My parents are arriving from Malaysia today. It's been a year since I've seen both of them so this will be very interesting.
Oh the life of an international student!
Hope everyone's been doing great.
Pink,
Cabbage Wabbage
Summer is finally here, and it has been great.
I only wish it can be warmer.
June 1: I shall begin my research with URGO.
Thesis: Integrating the skills of singing, acting and movement on the operatic stage
What a big topic. I really hope I won't get lost in the midst of the research.
My parents are arriving from Malaysia today. It's been a year since I've seen both of them so this will be very interesting.
Oh the life of an international student!
Hope everyone's been doing great.
Pink,
Cabbage Wabbage
Friday, May 2, 2008
The End?
It's the end of another year.
Again, time flew by without a warning.
Why is it still chilly out? Where is our sun?
My roommates are all out, leaving me alone in my room...contemplating the changes that I've struggled through this year.
Bitter sweet memories..
memories I wish to forget,
memories I wish to never let go.
All of them have constructed this great year that I've lived.
It's been nice Oren Gateway, but it's time for me to move on to a reality home.
No more luxurious facilities. No more super duper white painted walls.
Goodbye Seniors '08. I cannot imagine my college life without you guys being around next year.
It's been great comrades.
Choir concert tonight. And then a great tour beginning on Sunday all the way through May 14.
Thrilling.
Now, back to packing.
Cabbage Wabbage
Again, time flew by without a warning.
Why is it still chilly out? Where is our sun?
My roommates are all out, leaving me alone in my room...contemplating the changes that I've struggled through this year.
Bitter sweet memories..
memories I wish to forget,
memories I wish to never let go.
All of them have constructed this great year that I've lived.
It's been nice Oren Gateway, but it's time for me to move on to a reality home.
No more luxurious facilities. No more super duper white painted walls.
Goodbye Seniors '08. I cannot imagine my college life without you guys being around next year.
It's been great comrades.
Choir concert tonight. And then a great tour beginning on Sunday all the way through May 14.
Thrilling.
Now, back to packing.
Cabbage Wabbage
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