So, I've been doing quite well with my summer reading.
The latest book is called Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge.
The message of the book is this: Your heart matters more than anything else in all creation. The desires you had as a little girl and the longings you still feel as a woman--they are telling you of the life God created you to live..releasing you to live as a fully alive and feminine woman. A woman who is truly Captivating.
I've come to realize how much I've disrespected myself.
Ever since my last break up, I have hardened myself; thinking that the only way that I can be satisfied is by distracting myself with work and perfection. I put in extra work to shine up my shoes, doll myself up, being nice to everyone, get A+'s in my transcript, being a great worker in the coffee shop and the office, and get that full ride scholarship.
But really, I have yet to feel any sort of satisfaction in my ability through my hard work.
I've ensured that everyone that I work with is happy with me.
However the last person that I've tried please so far is myself.
I never appreciate what I have and my abilities. I'm always lacking.
So, I'm gonna learn how to be a little more loving to myself. Give myself pats on the shoulder at times.
Hopefully someday,
I'll understand how much I am loved by my Creator and how beautiful is the life He has given me.
Cabbage Wabbage
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