Dearest one...

Friend,
Everything will make sense very soon. Be patient and wait--not on the things that you think are ahead of you, but on the bigger picture, your life as a whole.
Let's look at the bigger picture. Our existence must not just be another consequence. Our past is not just a memory.
Affects and effects. Our lives are like dominos, remember?
Take in and soak in every single second of our lives.
Yes, betrayed, cheated, broken glass are we.
But the end marks the beginning of a new season.
Let's not forget glass is made out of tiny grains of sand.
Everything will come together.
Now, center yourself. Who are you? What is in your universe? What are your magic powers?
Now, look around you. Where are you? Who's beside you? Do you love what you see?
If you don't, then do something. Why bother living in a universe which you do not love?
If you could just focus and take charge of YOUR universe, nothing can ever harm you. Partings, separations, death--nothing.
There will be no such thing as failures, but just the becoming of a more improved universe--your universe.
Each step will lead you to a higher level.
So, please don't give up...
...for the sake of my universe, as well as the rest of the world's universe.

Cabbage Wabbage

Still Questioning...

Dear mates,
Things always happen at the most unexpected moments.
Planning is good, but shit happens.
Why is it that whenever I actually search or wait on something, it never comes?
Is it ever possible for two parts to become harmonious like the way it does in musical scores?
Can we never think in a pace?
Will we ever agree to each other?

Cabbage Wabbage

Not Bitching, Just Questioning...

People change fast.

The only way to be consistent with yourself is by being true to yourself.
You will never know the world if you do not know yourself.
The million dollar question: What is life all about?
Answer: Yourself
It is not about being selfish. Nor is it about being selfless.
But..
It is about being selfish and selfless at the same time.
What do I mean? I have no frickin clue.
I'll let you know once I figure this one out.

My ideal BF: Philosopher+ Lawyer+Minister+Engineer
Anyone up for the challenge? haha.

Halloween in college should be called "Dress up like a Slut for the Wrestlers Day!"
Is anyone else concerned about the becoming of our world?

Cabbage Wabbage

Home Sick

As you all know, I am originally from Malaysia.
My parents completed both their studies last summer and returned to our homeland, Malaysia. So, I am currently living and studying in the US on my own.
I miss my home terribly. I have not returned to Malaysia since the very second I stepped into this land of freedom.
I was writing to my parents before this. For some reason when I send snail mails or receive them from Malaysia, I feel a little closer to home. Maybe it's the just the thought that I am touching something that has been or will be touched by my parents/ friends from the other side of the globe.
Home sick.
How long must I keep waiting till I can return home.
Don't get me wrong, I love it here. Friends, cultures and the lifestyle here are all amazing. But why must the world make it so expensive and difficult for a young international student to return home?

Am I the only one who's feeling like this world is too big? Have you ever wondered the lives of people who are around you? Have noticed how many strangers there are in this world? The funny part is, we are all living in the same world--being shined on by the same sun, same moon and stars. Funny.

Cabbage Wabbage

Damn you, Disney cartoons.

I have been deceived by Disney cartoons. Fucked up. So fucked up.
Girls, let's face it, Prince Charming, Prince Eric and Prince Philip do not exist.
They are all merely delusions made up by rich folks.

We give ourselves away too easily these days. Why are we seen as the needy gender and the ones who are incapable of living our lives on our own?
Over and over, we put ourselves out there like chunks of meat ready to be eaten by men. Just because he's smart, just because he walks around with a boom box, just because has some sort of status, just because he's hot, just because you've hung out with him for 5 hours the other day--These do not make him THE PRINCE.

So to help us needy girls out, technology is foreseeing the creation of a future robotic "perfect boyfriend".
Honestly, I do not like this forecast at all. Yes, I know that men these days are mostly shit pies, but who the hell wants to be loved by a programmed robot.
What kind of girl would be satisfied from being loved by a thing that is programmed to love her? That's such a bitch slap to females from technology.
Do we seem that vulnerable, needy and desperate?
Just imagine how they would even advertise these robots in the future.
"Girls, desperate for some loving tonight? Need someone to buy you flowers and compliment you more often? Need a manly shoulder? Here you go, have a robot! He can be your perfect boyfriend!"
My God...I am speechless...

I say technology should work on creating robotic "slave boys". Slaves that would clean my house, shop for groceries, drive me around, cook for me, and massage me everynight.
Yes, that I concur.

Enough day dreaming, time to get back to work.

.......Ah, if only I had a robotic "slave boy"!

Cabbage Wabbage

Fuck buddies

Faithful stalkers, =)
3 things I love at this very moment:
1) A hot shower after a jog out in the rain
2) A hot cup of honey lemon tea
3) Moisturized skin

So, I've just recently heard that people are actually reading my entries. I better start behaving..NOT! HAHA
Hell yea! I'll say whatever I need to say in this blog.
Before I disappoint anyone, I should let you know that I'm not actually going to talk about fuck buddies.
.....
..........
.....................
ALRIGHT..
So, I've been staring at the computer screen for the past 10 minutes trying to figure out what I truly wish to express in this entry.
Ok. I can't make up my mind.

Sorry guys, I've lost my groove for tonight. I'll come back later.

Cabbage Wabbage

RoomMate

Just so you know, I've had the worst experience with roommates. I've always somehow managed to offend them.
This year has been better. I love my roommates--all three of them. Good part about living in Oren Gateway is that we get our own room. So, when frustrated with someone in the house, we can just leave and hibernate in our cozy room.
There are times when I feel obligated to have strong friendships between the four of us. But, no. You don't have to be BFFs with your roomies. In fact, I've seen people who have roomed with their BFFs end up becoming bitches to each other--moved out and never spoken a word to each other ever since.
Anyways, the point of this blog is mainly to comfort and rationalize myself. I've recently got into something with one of my roomies who happens to be one of my greatest friends on campus. Though you might not be best friends or lovers, sharing the same space and seeing each other everyday can really do something to a relationship. You have to know your boundaries, how far do you wanna get to know your roomies? How much so you allow yourself to rub off/on each other?
There are certain things that are very very infectious. So, always be on guard and know who you are. Don't exclude yourself from having an enjoyable time with your roomies, but always remember that all of you are different. Just because you're living together doesn't mean that you have to become like each other.
She left for the weekend and she's coming home tonight. Wish me luck guys!

Cabbage Wabbage

Jesse

This post is dedicated to my friend Jesse for he has taught me a lot this week.
I've come to a conclusion that in order to live a more fruitful and joyful life, it is better for one to not focus on one's own weaknesses.
This guy, Jesse is also a voice performance major. He is never afraid of singing. I've never understood how he could still focus on his performance and not look fearful even when he could not sustain his high A flats. His voice would screech and crack but his focus would still be there.
How is he able to focus in all his music classes--not looking stressed or tired or strained.
He doesn't seem to care too much about the stress in his life. He doesn't worry about making big mistakes.
In fact, that might be a trick. Make BIG mistakes. That way, you'll actually see your own weakness and not be able to run from it.
I have been focusing too much on my mistakes even before I make them. Yes, it's pathetic.

Never be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry for itself.

CABBAGE WABBAGE

For Philanthropy's Sake, go Fuck yourself.

I am bitter today.
Some things are hard to give up, you know?
"I'll run the race to the end of the line" --I keep reading this everywhere these days.
What is the race? And what is the end of line?

Nothing is what they seem. Never trust first impressions.
There's this girl who I trained in in the Coffee Shop. She gave me such a great 1st impression, I thought she would be an amazing co-worker with amazing work ethics. It turns out that she's the laziest full of lies worker I've ever met. She came into work yesterday, looking wasted, and lied to my face that she was in the Emergency Room the whole night and had to get 7 stitches in her. "I can't work today." I don't remember how many times I've heard that phrase from her since I trained her in. Well yea, you know what? Someone just saw this girl partying the night before and was drunk off her ass. Bull. Full of shit. I hate people like that. She won't survive in the real world.
Something similar happened with this other guy in Honors.
I thought he was just another asshole from Honors. Well, last week, I bumped into him in a party. We ended up chatting for the next 5 hours till dawn. It was crazy. He's the nicest guy I've met. cool. really cool. Too bad his roommates had to make it awkward for me to hang out with him now. It sucks. I still think he's cool though.
Last but not least, my ex-bf who I've dated for the first two years of college.
My advice for incoming freshman girls. Never ever ever ever date someone in your first year of college. Nothing is ever what it seems. He might seem sweet, but he will torture you to the very end. Give it some time before jumping into stupid decisions. He won't ever be right with you if you never learn how to be right with yourself.

Alright, alright , alright..
For philanthropy's sake, I'll stop blabbering.

Cabbage Wabbage signing off....

Let's Just be Friends *PEACE*

Dearest Stalkers,
Frustration blasting day!
Question: Can a boy ever be close/best friends with a girl?
Answer: No
Can a guy friend visit me at work without being suspected to have a crush on me?
NO.
I feel so pressured. All I want is just to be friends and share the world together.
Showing sincerity to a guy does not mean that I am interested in dating the guy. Does the world understand this? NO. Does the boy know? Sometimes. Do I suspect myself at times? YES. *Grouch*
Has this world been so cruel to people that once a person shows some care and sincerity in their eyes, you can't help but to fall right into love?
Instead of seeing a huge neon sign saying "DATE ME" on his head, why can't it be just "Hi, FRIEND!"
I think this is exactly why wonderful fuzzy friendships can get so awkward.

AHHHHHH!!
CABBAGE WABBAGE