Monday, June 2, 2008

Oh, just some thoughts, you know.

So, I've been doing quite well with my summer reading.
The latest book is called Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge.
The message of the book is this: Your heart matters more than anything else in all creation. The desires you had as a little girl and the longings you still feel as a woman--they are telling you of the life God created you to live..releasing you to live as a fully alive and feminine woman. A woman who is truly Captivating.
I've come to realize how much I've disrespected myself.
Ever since my last break up, I have hardened myself; thinking that the only way that I can be satisfied is by distracting myself with work and perfection. I put in extra work to shine up my shoes, doll myself up, being nice to everyone, get A+'s in my transcript, being a great worker in the coffee shop and the office, and get that full ride scholarship.
But really, I have yet to feel any sort of satisfaction in my ability through my hard work.
I've ensured that everyone that I work with is happy with me.
However the last person that I've tried please so far is myself.
I never appreciate what I have and my abilities. I'm always lacking.

So, I'm gonna learn how to be a little more loving to myself. Give myself pats on the shoulder at times.

Hopefully someday,
I'll understand how much I am loved by my Creator and how beautiful is the life He has given me.


Cabbage Wabbage