Dear Father Almighty,
I hear your gift calling for me.
Every night, when I lie awake in bed,
I hear a loud whisper calling my name.
Over and over...
It sparks once in a while,
Random bursts of lights,
Just to tease me.
It wants my attention,
And it whines when I don't give it my attention.
Is it time yet?
Is it time yet?
Can I hold my own?
Do I have my own?
Am I the center of my universe?
Am I strong enough to not let the evil get the best of me?
I am a singer.
No, I am not drunkenly consumed by this thought,
for I am a singer.
It is me.
If I am consumed, what else can I do besides bringing the good news of Your gift?
If I do not sing, what will be the purpose of this great thirst that you have placed into my heart?
As long as I can still sing, I have no other choice but to sing.
Otherwise, I am nothing. And one day...
I will go to waste and Your gift will forever be unheard of.
Evelyn Tsen
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Truly, we are blessed people
Even if you are not a Christian,
even if you are not a believer of any sort of religion...
you are truly blessed.
This life, this earth, this body, this family, this job, this free-will...
what more can you ask for.
That's the one thing that I've been seeing lately.
Yes, although there are a lot more things I wish I had, I cannot deny the fact that I have been blessed with every possible thing that could make me the happiest person alive.
Blessings are always there...
"seek and you shall find."
Imperfection completes perfections.
Cabbage Wabbage
even if you are not a believer of any sort of religion...
you are truly blessed.
This life, this earth, this body, this family, this job, this free-will...
what more can you ask for.
That's the one thing that I've been seeing lately.
Yes, although there are a lot more things I wish I had, I cannot deny the fact that I have been blessed with every possible thing that could make me the happiest person alive.
Blessings are always there...
"seek and you shall find."
Imperfection completes perfections.
Cabbage Wabbage
If Only's and Maybe's are Nothing but a Grey Shade
If only I've spent my first two years focused on my music...
If only I learned my pieces better last year...
If only I have more energy for school...
If only I had the money to pay off school..
If only my parents were here...
If only I knew what coulda, woulda, shoulda happened...
If only I know how to control my voice...
If only I spent more time on the piano...
...If only "if only's" would make my worries disappear...
Time to get up and start moving baby!!
This summer will be great!
Hearts,
Cabbage Wabbage
If only I learned my pieces better last year...
If only I have more energy for school...
If only I had the money to pay off school..
If only my parents were here...
If only I knew what coulda, woulda, shoulda happened...
If only I know how to control my voice...
If only I spent more time on the piano...
...If only "if only's" would make my worries disappear...
Time to get up and start moving baby!!
This summer will be great!
Hearts,
Cabbage Wabbage
Sunday, June 15, 2008
No Worries
The best way to deal with anxiety on stage is not to think of the anxiety.
Find the "inner clown" is what Eloise Ristad suggested in her "A Soprano on Her Head".
There have been so many times when I believed that I can only learn to love through punishments.
The longer I punish myself in the practice rooms, the more I will learn to love my music, my voice.
How much pain will I be able to go through to prove my love for music?
Ironically, this sort of thinking happens in my spiritual life as well. And I am sure I am not alone on this.
I was born to be disobedient and stubborn. When I was younger, I would always break one of God's golden rules and find myself on my knees praying for forgiveness the very next second.
My prayer would go something like this:
"Dear God, I am so so so sorry. I promise that I will never do this again. If I ever do, punish me--lower my grades, make mom smack me, have dad yell at me, or take my friends away! BUT don't leave me too miserable."
It's funny how much humans like to bargain. We think we can buy our gifts, talents, love, and God's favor by slaving our bodies, materials and money away. The more we sacrifice, the more we'll gain.
Why do we need to make ourselves suffer in order to find love, God, or gifts?
Slaving ourselves away will only drive us out of happiness or even sanity.
For some reason, we find ourselves extremely powerful when we begin to think that we are earning their favors. So in the end, it's not about love, God, or gifts. But that's another story for another time.
For now, I must start finding ways"my inner clowns" that could make me laugh in the practice rooms, and life in general.
I must stop finding worries, and start finding happies.
Cabbage Wabbage
Find the "inner clown" is what Eloise Ristad suggested in her "A Soprano on Her Head".
There have been so many times when I believed that I can only learn to love through punishments.
The longer I punish myself in the practice rooms, the more I will learn to love my music, my voice.
How much pain will I be able to go through to prove my love for music?
Ironically, this sort of thinking happens in my spiritual life as well. And I am sure I am not alone on this.
I was born to be disobedient and stubborn. When I was younger, I would always break one of God's golden rules and find myself on my knees praying for forgiveness the very next second.
My prayer would go something like this:
"Dear God, I am so so so sorry. I promise that I will never do this again. If I ever do, punish me--lower my grades, make mom smack me, have dad yell at me, or take my friends away! BUT don't leave me too miserable."
It's funny how much humans like to bargain. We think we can buy our gifts, talents, love, and God's favor by slaving our bodies, materials and money away. The more we sacrifice, the more we'll gain.
Why do we need to make ourselves suffer in order to find love, God, or gifts?
Slaving ourselves away will only drive us out of happiness or even sanity.
For some reason, we find ourselves extremely powerful when we begin to think that we are earning their favors. So in the end, it's not about love, God, or gifts. But that's another story for another time.
For now, I must start finding ways"my inner clowns" that could make me laugh in the practice rooms, and life in general.
I must stop finding worries, and start finding happies.
Cabbage Wabbage
Thursday, June 12, 2008
On Tuesday
Janet and I figured out how entangled my face was to my voice. When I was trying too hard to sing, my face scrunches and moves the way the pitches change.
It was especially difficult on faster songs.
What worked was when I could imagine a separation between my vocal chord and breathing system from my face.
By focusing merely on my face, instead of my singing, it instantly freed up my voice.
All the focus that I have given in my singing has placed such a great amount of tension around my tongue and vocal chords. By working on my facial muscles, I was able to take away all the energy from my pushed voice and focus it all right into my face.
The exercises that I have been doing this week were:
-Warming up with extreme facial masks.
Note***Must be a little more watchful on the jaw. It seems like most of my masks are heavy on the jaw area.
-Warming Up and Singing the Recitative in extremely loose la-la-la-la's
Cabbage Wabbage
It was especially difficult on faster songs.
What worked was when I could imagine a separation between my vocal chord and breathing system from my face.
By focusing merely on my face, instead of my singing, it instantly freed up my voice.
All the focus that I have given in my singing has placed such a great amount of tension around my tongue and vocal chords. By working on my facial muscles, I was able to take away all the energy from my pushed voice and focus it all right into my face.
The exercises that I have been doing this week were:
-Warming up with extreme facial masks.
Note***Must be a little more watchful on the jaw. It seems like most of my masks are heavy on the jaw area.
-Warming Up and Singing the Recitative in extremely loose la-la-la-la's
Cabbage Wabbage
My Inner Conversations
One of the goals that I really wanted to achieve this week was to stop being such a self critic to my voice.
It definitely took a lot of courage and energy.
When I am not positive, this is how my inner dialog goes:
Me: Focus...keep working...drop that jaw
Inner Critic: Oh dear, that sounded bad
Me: Keep the tongue flat on the jaw.
Inner Critic:Yikes! That definitely didn't sound like a professional singer
Me: I can do this. Just Let that tongue go.
Inner Critic: You're not doing it right! How can you think you can go to Grad School?
Me: How do I release this tongue?
Inner Critic: You're pushing too much!
Me: Focus..Focus....
Inner Critic:You can't sing anymore. You're throat is hoarse.
Me: I got the first phrase figured out...Maybe it's my vowels. How do I sing on a pure vowel?
Inner Critic: This is too difficult. Hah! You're such a joke! You just got one page down in one hour??
Me: I suck...
Inner Critic: Yea, you do. If you were a great singer, you would have gotten the whole song down by now...
Me: But it's a process. It's a process!! What is a process?? What am I doing??How do you fix this tongue???
Inner Critic: Fuck the process! You should quit now.
Me: I hate singing. I can't sing anymore.
This week, this is all I allowed myself to think about.
Me: What a wonderful day to sing!
Inner Critic: I bet you're gonna go hoarse again today..
Me: Shut up! It's all a process. How would you know if I haven't even sung yet?
Inner Critic:...
Me: Let's just sing. Now, what did I learn during my voice lessons?
Inner Critic: Oh dear, you're tongue's a lil' tight!
Me: Thank you! Let's figure out how to fix it why don't we?
Inner Critic: You're tongue is too tight at the back.
Me: Okay, maybe if I sing in "Ou" the way I was told to, it'll help.
Inner Critic: You're pushing a little.
Me: Okay, let's try not blasting my voice. There you go. You're telling the most secretive secret.
Inner Critic: You're jaw is tight on "eeh" vowels.
Me: Okay, let's try saying eeeh as in easy...
Me: Oh, that feels good. Don't worry. Just sing...just sing. If there is a problem, I will learn how to fix it. It's a process. I don't need to know everything now. We'll find out on our way.
I am a singer. And I was born to do this.
Cabbage Wabbage
It definitely took a lot of courage and energy.
When I am not positive, this is how my inner dialog goes:
Me: Focus...keep working...drop that jaw
Inner Critic: Oh dear, that sounded bad
Me: Keep the tongue flat on the jaw.
Inner Critic:Yikes! That definitely didn't sound like a professional singer
Me: I can do this. Just Let that tongue go.
Inner Critic: You're not doing it right! How can you think you can go to Grad School?
Me: How do I release this tongue?
Inner Critic: You're pushing too much!
Me: Focus..Focus....
Inner Critic:You can't sing anymore. You're throat is hoarse.
Me: I got the first phrase figured out...Maybe it's my vowels. How do I sing on a pure vowel?
Inner Critic: This is too difficult. Hah! You're such a joke! You just got one page down in one hour??
Me: I suck...
Inner Critic: Yea, you do. If you were a great singer, you would have gotten the whole song down by now...
Me: But it's a process. It's a process!! What is a process?? What am I doing??How do you fix this tongue???
Inner Critic: Fuck the process! You should quit now.
Me: I hate singing. I can't sing anymore.
This week, this is all I allowed myself to think about.
Me: What a wonderful day to sing!
Inner Critic: I bet you're gonna go hoarse again today..
Me: Shut up! It's all a process. How would you know if I haven't even sung yet?
Inner Critic:...
Me: Let's just sing. Now, what did I learn during my voice lessons?
Inner Critic: Oh dear, you're tongue's a lil' tight!
Me: Thank you! Let's figure out how to fix it why don't we?
Inner Critic: You're tongue is too tight at the back.
Me: Okay, maybe if I sing in "Ou" the way I was told to, it'll help.
Inner Critic: You're pushing a little.
Me: Okay, let's try not blasting my voice. There you go. You're telling the most secretive secret.
Inner Critic: You're jaw is tight on "eeh" vowels.
Me: Okay, let's try saying eeeh as in easy...
Me: Oh, that feels good. Don't worry. Just sing...just sing. If there is a problem, I will learn how to fix it. It's a process. I don't need to know everything now. We'll find out on our way.
I am a singer. And I was born to do this.
Cabbage Wabbage
Great Movies
Recently, I've been able to watch amazing movies.
1: Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Yes, although it was obviously directed to Christianity, this movie was a great reminder for my spirituality.
It takes trust for Narnia to be renewed. It takes desire and thirst to see Aslan again.
It makes me wonder if I'll ever see Narnia. Am I trying too hard to see it...will I ever be able to have a child like faith and stop questioning my Aslan.
2: Kung Fu Panda
It was so fun. The secret ingredient is nothing. All you have to do is just to believe that you are special. Look into the mirror, and if you see yourself as nothing, then you are nothing. But once you see yourself as someone special--"the dragon master", then you are special.
Oh, Jack Black..u sure know how to put a smile on my face.
Back to research now...
Cabbage Wabbage
1: Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Yes, although it was obviously directed to Christianity, this movie was a great reminder for my spirituality.
It takes trust for Narnia to be renewed. It takes desire and thirst to see Aslan again.
It makes me wonder if I'll ever see Narnia. Am I trying too hard to see it...will I ever be able to have a child like faith and stop questioning my Aslan.
2: Kung Fu Panda
It was so fun. The secret ingredient is nothing. All you have to do is just to believe that you are special. Look into the mirror, and if you see yourself as nothing, then you are nothing. But once you see yourself as someone special--"the dragon master", then you are special.
Oh, Jack Black..u sure know how to put a smile on my face.
Back to research now...
Cabbage Wabbage
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Exercises
Wesley Balk
Exercises for Hearing/Vocal Mode
1. Have inner conversations between Self 1, Left Brain(Control Freak) and Self 2,Right Brain(Body Knowing Creativity)
2. Finding the language of your inner conversations
3. The elephant and the rose metaphor (Pg108, Performing Power)
4. Finding the stressed word can give different meanings to a sentence or a phrase.
Facial/ Emotional Mode
1.The moving focus
2.The fixed focus
3.The eye shutter
4.The light bulb
5.Environmental focus
6. Face Mask.
-Face Brushing to music
-Create Exaggerated Mask
-Sustain and allow emotions to come through
7
-
Exercises for Hearing/Vocal Mode
1. Have inner conversations between Self 1, Left Brain(Control Freak) and Self 2,Right Brain(Body Knowing Creativity)
2. Finding the language of your inner conversations
3. The elephant and the rose metaphor (Pg108, Performing Power)
4. Finding the stressed word can give different meanings to a sentence or a phrase.
Facial/ Emotional Mode
1.The moving focus
2.The fixed focus
3.The eye shutter
4.The light bulb
5.Environmental focus
6. Face Mask.
-Face Brushing to music
-Create Exaggerated Mask
-Sustain and allow emotions to come through
7
-
Week (2) Schedule
Tuesday
9-11Am: Plan and Search for exercises from readings for this week
11-1Pm: Rehearsing chosen exercises with Janet
1-4Pm: Study the Aria, and rehearse on vocal technique
4-5Pm:Journal
Travel
6-9PM: Opera Workshop
Travel
10-11Pm:Journal
Wednesday
9-11Am: Roundtable
11-1Pm: Read "A Soprano on Her Head"
1-3Pm: Study the Aria, and rehearse on vocal technique
3-4Pm: Rehearse chosen exercises
4-8Pm:BREAK
8-9Pm: Plan for Interviews/Contact Interviewees
Thursday
9-10Am: Journal
10Am-1Pm: Read "A Soprano on Her Head"
1-3Pm: Study Aria, and rehearse on vocal technique
3-4Pm: Rehearse chosen exercises
4-5Pm: Journal
Travel
6-9Pm: Opera Workshop
Travel
10-11Pm: Journal
9-11Am: Plan and Search for exercises from readings for this week
11-1Pm: Rehearsing chosen exercises with Janet
1-4Pm: Study the Aria, and rehearse on vocal technique
4-5Pm:Journal
Travel
6-9PM: Opera Workshop
Travel
10-11Pm:Journal
Wednesday
9-11Am: Roundtable
11-1Pm: Read "A Soprano on Her Head"
1-3Pm: Study the Aria, and rehearse on vocal technique
3-4Pm: Rehearse chosen exercises
4-8Pm:BREAK
8-9Pm: Plan for Interviews/Contact Interviewees
Thursday
9-10Am: Journal
10Am-1Pm: Read "A Soprano on Her Head"
1-3Pm: Study Aria, and rehearse on vocal technique
3-4Pm: Rehearse chosen exercises
4-5Pm: Journal
Travel
6-9Pm: Opera Workshop
Travel
10-11Pm: Journal
Monday, June 9, 2008
Weekend Hours
Friday
7-9Pm: Role/Imagination play
9-10Pm: Reading
Saturday
3-6Pm: Studying Music (French or English)
Began my role plays with more familiar pieces
Sunday
8-11Am: Reading Ostwald
2-4Pm: More vocal training and music studying
-Need guide in French
-French vowels are gentler on the vocal chords
-English tenses me up
-Chapter 4, Ostwald was a great chapter for my findings this week.
7-9Pm: Role/Imagination play
9-10Pm: Reading
Saturday
3-6Pm: Studying Music (French or English)
Began my role plays with more familiar pieces
Sunday
8-11Am: Reading Ostwald
2-4Pm: More vocal training and music studying
-Need guide in French
-French vowels are gentler on the vocal chords
-English tenses me up
-Chapter 4, Ostwald was a great chapter for my findings this week.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Ostwald Exercises
***Imagination: The Magical "if"
-What if you were...
-How would you feel if...
-What would you do if...
1. -Choose a piece of clothing you seldom use.
-How do you feel?
-Let the feeling affect your face
-Sing a phrase from the song
-Let the clothing color your voice
-Look in a mirror: What kind of person are you?
-Play some music
-Move to it
-Use one of these imaginary you and allow you voice change to the different circumsances
What if...
-your left leg is rigid
-your neck was rubber band
-your arm is a rope
-you are on the moon
-you are in a desert
-you are under water
-you were a Czar
-you were a model
-you were a prostitute
Exercise for today:
These are 3 Juliet emotions that I will be trying to express:
1)Agitated
2)Confused
3)Aroused
Imagination journey for the emotions:
What if...
1)I have hang nails all over my fingers and I can't find a nail clipper anywhere
2)I am a lost 3 year old in a shopping mall
3)I was a prostitute, desired by a good looking man from the upper class
Cabbage Wabbage
-What if you were...
-How would you feel if...
-What would you do if...
1. -Choose a piece of clothing you seldom use.
-How do you feel?
-Let the feeling affect your face
-Sing a phrase from the song
-Let the clothing color your voice
-Look in a mirror: What kind of person are you?
-Play some music
-Move to it
-Use one of these imaginary you and allow you voice change to the different circumsances
What if...
-your left leg is rigid
-your neck was rubber band
-your arm is a rope
-you are on the moon
-you are in a desert
-you are under water
-you were a Czar
-you were a model
-you were a prostitute
Exercise for today:
These are 3 Juliet emotions that I will be trying to express:
1)Agitated
2)Confused
3)Aroused
Imagination journey for the emotions:
What if...
1)I have hang nails all over my fingers and I can't find a nail clipper anywhere
2)I am a lost 3 year old in a shopping mall
3)I was a prostitute, desired by a good looking man from the upper class
Cabbage Wabbage
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Thursday
2-5Pm: Read opera summary and Listened to recording
5Pm-7Pm: Reading
8Pm-10Pm: Understanding Character
Ostwald Chapter 2
"Describing the Character's Story" Method:
Objective: Understanding my reality and Juliet
When are the events taking place?
14th Century, the height of Verona's political and artistic prominence
Juliet is 13 yeas old. The beginning of her adolescent years
Where is my character?
Verona, in the property of Lord Capulet her father, who is an enemy of Lord Montague, Romeo's father.
Who is my character?
She is the beautiful daughter of the Capulet. Her beginning of adolescence--desiring to be loved. Passionate, wishing that she can soon understand the meaning behind love. She is very protected: she has a father who controls her decisions, a nurse who babysits her, cousins who are aggressively protective to their family's honor.
What does my character want?
In this particular scene, she wants to drink the potion. Drunken by her romance with dear Romeo, her mind is consumed with desperation of wanting to be with him.
What has just happened?
Friar Lawrence has just given her the potion that will poison her to unconsciousness on the day which she would be betrothed to Count Paris. By the end of this scene, she drinks the potion.
Why does she want it?
She is in love with Romeo. She is naive and passionate.
5Pm-7Pm: Reading
8Pm-10Pm: Understanding Character
Ostwald Chapter 2
"Describing the Character's Story" Method:
Objective: Understanding my reality and Juliet
When are the events taking place?
14th Century, the height of Verona's political and artistic prominence
Juliet is 13 yeas old. The beginning of her adolescent years
Where is my character?
Verona, in the property of Lord Capulet her father, who is an enemy of Lord Montague, Romeo's father.
Who is my character?
She is the beautiful daughter of the Capulet. Her beginning of adolescence--desiring to be loved. Passionate, wishing that she can soon understand the meaning behind love. She is very protected: she has a father who controls her decisions, a nurse who babysits her, cousins who are aggressively protective to their family's honor.
What does my character want?
In this particular scene, she wants to drink the potion. Drunken by her romance with dear Romeo, her mind is consumed with desperation of wanting to be with him.
What has just happened?
Friar Lawrence has just given her the potion that will poison her to unconsciousness on the day which she would be betrothed to Count Paris. By the end of this scene, she drinks the potion.
Why does she want it?
She is in love with Romeo. She is naive and passionate.
***Question: Does she have fear in her musical lines? Is she merely a follower?
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
My voice
It's my first time journaling about my voice.
These are the problems that I bump into in practice rooms.
-Tension in my tongue
-My hips lock
-Occasionally, my left arm lifts itself
-I begin listening to my own voice
How do I avoid thinking about these problems as I research on the 3 modes of operatic stage?
Wesley Balk said, "To avoid the elephant, you must think of the rose."
What can the "rose" be?
Problem: Tension on my tongue--The more I think about the tension, the more my tongue tenses up.
Solution: Find an activity to get different parts of your body involved in your singing
-Rolling your hips
-Rolling your shoulders
-Singing on one leg
-Finding a focal point, and sing to the focal point
Problem: I don't believe in my voice.
How does one sing if one does not believe in one's voice?
I cannot practice if I don't believe in my musicality.
I cannot memorize and learn a piece if I cannot imagine myself doing it.
Solution: Think positive!
-I am always practicing to become better.
-There is no point to practice if there is nothing to improve from.
-There is no point to living if I was already perfect to begin with.
-I will become better and I want to sing
My tension comes from my desire of wanting to control my voice. Wanting it to sound perfect.
Control must be released.
Free from my anger and dissatisfaction in my yet-to-be-improved voice.
These are the problems that I bump into in practice rooms.
-Tension in my tongue
-My hips lock
-Occasionally, my left arm lifts itself
-I begin listening to my own voice
How do I avoid thinking about these problems as I research on the 3 modes of operatic stage?
Wesley Balk said, "To avoid the elephant, you must think of the rose."
What can the "rose" be?
Problem: Tension on my tongue--The more I think about the tension, the more my tongue tenses up.
Solution: Find an activity to get different parts of your body involved in your singing
-Rolling your hips
-Rolling your shoulders
-Singing on one leg
-Finding a focal point, and sing to the focal point
Problem: I don't believe in my voice.
How does one sing if one does not believe in one's voice?
I cannot practice if I don't believe in my musicality.
I cannot memorize and learn a piece if I cannot imagine myself doing it.
Solution: Think positive!
-I am always practicing to become better.
-There is no point to practice if there is nothing to improve from.
-There is no point to living if I was already perfect to begin with.
-I will become better and I want to sing
My tension comes from my desire of wanting to control my voice. Wanting it to sound perfect.
Control must be released.
Free from my anger and dissatisfaction in my yet-to-be-improved voice.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Research Topic Elevators
I am researching on the integration of the three skills expected on today's operatic stage--the skills in vocal technique, acting, and kinesthetic movement on stage.
I hope to find out why there has not been many opera singers who could successfully communicate their music in three of these modes. On top of that, I would also like to know what the current music business and audience are expecting out of an extraordinary opera production?
My goal is to search for tools and methods that may help opera singers in refining their communication on stage in order to satisfy the ears and eyes of today's audience.
I hope to find out why there has not been many opera singers who could successfully communicate their music in three of these modes. On top of that, I would also like to know what the current music business and audience are expecting out of an extraordinary opera production?
My goal is to search for tools and methods that may help opera singers in refining their communication on stage in order to satisfy the ears and eyes of today's audience.
Missing...
Silence
Boredom
Oh God, help me!
My mind is telling me that I'm a loser all over again.
Sitting in my room,
all alone...
trying to study,
but my mind is crowding itself with lonely thoughts.
I miss you.
The sweet moments that we've spent
seem light-years ago.
Sitting in my room,
all alone...
Do you wish to see me too?
I wonder.
Blue bird is not singing today
Such a cold cold day.
My plants
My only friends.
They are turning yellow.
Dying away like you have.
like the cherry blossoms by my window...
Dear one,
Will you ever return to me?
No answer...no whisper...
not even a breeze...
not even a smell...
Will I ever find you?
Have I lost you for good?
Come back to me
Where ever you are, what ever time it is,
Fly back to me
I am eagerly waiting...
Cabbage Wabbage
Boredom
Oh God, help me!
My mind is telling me that I'm a loser all over again.
Sitting in my room,
all alone...
trying to study,
but my mind is crowding itself with lonely thoughts.
I miss you.
The sweet moments that we've spent
seem light-years ago.
Sitting in my room,
all alone...
Do you wish to see me too?
I wonder.
Blue bird is not singing today
Such a cold cold day.
My plants
My only friends.
They are turning yellow.
Dying away like you have.
like the cherry blossoms by my window...
Dear one,
Will you ever return to me?
No answer...no whisper...
not even a breeze...
not even a smell...
Will I ever find you?
Have I lost you for good?
Come back to me
Where ever you are, what ever time it is,
Fly back to me
I am eagerly waiting...
Cabbage Wabbage
Disorganized..MUST DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT
URGO has finally begun! My greatest fear about this research is my incapability in motivating myself. Time management too is a great part of my worry.
So, to avoid myself from being distracted, I am now making a schedule for myself.
I must be motivated!!! YARGHHH!!!
1Pm-2:30pm - Study/ Reading
2:30Pm-4:30Pm- Meeting with Janet
4:30Pm-7:30Pm-Practice
8Pm- Songs/Lieders search
9Pm- Study/ Reading
My Interview:
How long have you been performing/directing/conducting?
How do you view the demands of the operatic music business today?
What sort of skills/attributes/experiences do they look for in opera singers?
Do audiences today respond to the vocal productions or stage appearances?
Are the audiences today most likely going to respond to the a great sound or an appealing staged visual?
Have the current audiences changed in their expectations of a great production in comparison to the audiences in the past?
What do you wish to see or hear most in an opera?
As a singer/director/conductor, what is the most challenging task in creating a successful opera?
To the Singer:
When was the first time you had a break through in your performing?
What types of vocal technique exercises do you do while practicing?
What types of acting exercises do you do while practicing?
Do you find it difficult to be on your vocal technique while acting?
What has helped you the most in being able to be expressive on stage while still singing on your technique?
So, to avoid myself from being distracted, I am now making a schedule for myself.
I must be motivated!!! YARGHHH!!!
1Pm-2:30pm - Study/ Reading
2:30Pm-4:30Pm- Meeting with Janet
4:30Pm-7:30Pm-Practice
8Pm- Songs/Lieders search
9Pm- Study/ Reading
My Interview:
How long have you been performing/directing/conducting?
How do you view the demands of the operatic music business today?
What sort of skills/attributes/experiences do they look for in opera singers?
Do audiences today respond to the vocal productions or stage appearances?
Are the audiences today most likely going to respond to the a great sound or an appealing staged visual?
Have the current audiences changed in their expectations of a great production in comparison to the audiences in the past?
What do you wish to see or hear most in an opera?
As a singer/director/conductor, what is the most challenging task in creating a successful opera?
To the Singer:
When was the first time you had a break through in your performing?
What types of vocal technique exercises do you do while practicing?
What types of acting exercises do you do while practicing?
Do you find it difficult to be on your vocal technique while acting?
What has helped you the most in being able to be expressive on stage while still singing on your technique?
Monday, June 2, 2008
Oh, just some thoughts, you know.
So, I've been doing quite well with my summer reading.
The latest book is called Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge.
The message of the book is this: Your heart matters more than anything else in all creation. The desires you had as a little girl and the longings you still feel as a woman--they are telling you of the life God created you to live..releasing you to live as a fully alive and feminine woman. A woman who is truly Captivating.
I've come to realize how much I've disrespected myself.
Ever since my last break up, I have hardened myself; thinking that the only way that I can be satisfied is by distracting myself with work and perfection. I put in extra work to shine up my shoes, doll myself up, being nice to everyone, get A+'s in my transcript, being a great worker in the coffee shop and the office, and get that full ride scholarship.
But really, I have yet to feel any sort of satisfaction in my ability through my hard work.
I've ensured that everyone that I work with is happy with me.
However the last person that I've tried please so far is myself.
I never appreciate what I have and my abilities. I'm always lacking.
So, I'm gonna learn how to be a little more loving to myself. Give myself pats on the shoulder at times.
Hopefully someday,
I'll understand how much I am loved by my Creator and how beautiful is the life He has given me.
Cabbage Wabbage
The latest book is called Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge.
The message of the book is this: Your heart matters more than anything else in all creation. The desires you had as a little girl and the longings you still feel as a woman--they are telling you of the life God created you to live..releasing you to live as a fully alive and feminine woman. A woman who is truly Captivating.
I've come to realize how much I've disrespected myself.
Ever since my last break up, I have hardened myself; thinking that the only way that I can be satisfied is by distracting myself with work and perfection. I put in extra work to shine up my shoes, doll myself up, being nice to everyone, get A+'s in my transcript, being a great worker in the coffee shop and the office, and get that full ride scholarship.
But really, I have yet to feel any sort of satisfaction in my ability through my hard work.
I've ensured that everyone that I work with is happy with me.
However the last person that I've tried please so far is myself.
I never appreciate what I have and my abilities. I'm always lacking.
So, I'm gonna learn how to be a little more loving to myself. Give myself pats on the shoulder at times.
Hopefully someday,
I'll understand how much I am loved by my Creator and how beautiful is the life He has given me.
Cabbage Wabbage
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